


Don't Hate Me

by originalhybridlover



Category: Sen Çal Kapımı (TV)
Genre: Angst, Edser, F/M, Love, ends on a happy note, post episode 13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:00:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26932507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/originalhybridlover/pseuds/originalhybridlover
Summary: Serkan fears telling Eda the truth but what else can he do? He risks everything when he tells her of his family's connection to hers.
Relationships: eda yildiz/serkan bolat
Comments: 8
Kudos: 41





	Don't Hate Me

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is self-indulgent fic because the ending of the last episode crushed me, I hope you like this.

Eda wasn’t sure what was wrong with Serkan but something was bothering him and she was sure it had something to do with her. 

He had been avoiding her for that past week, he still drove her to work but he barely said two words to her. 

He locked himself in his office away from everyone, including her. Especially her. He wouldn’t even look at her. 

It hurt. One day he was the most romantic, sweetest man she ever knew, making plans to go to Italy with her, and the next he was suddenly not there. 

She didn’t understand it at all. 

Did she do something wrong? Had she upset him in some way. Did he change his mind about them? About Italy? About her?

For the first time, she was afraid to talk to him. Afraid that when she did it would be over. 

Her chest was tight with fear and she felt like she couldn’t breathe. 

Serkan said he couldn’t breathe without her there, couldn’t live without her. Maybe he was wrong and he could but Eda was starting to think she couldn’t. Couldn’t breathe without him. Couldn’t live without him. Couldn’t imagine him not being a part of her life. 

She felt like a piece of her was already gone. 

* * *

Serkan sat at his desk in his office, his hands resting in his hands.

The pain he felt in his chest was constant, tearing up inside ever since his father revealed that their family was the reason Eda’s parents were dead. 

Why she suffered such a great loss at such a tender age. 

The source of her fear for closed-in spaces. Her Claustrophobia. 

How could she possibly be with him now?

How could she love the man whose family ruined her life? 

He couldn’t bring himself to break up with her. He needed her but he couldn’t even look her in the eye. 

He couldn’t be in the same room with her longer than five minutes without feeling on the verge of breaking down. 

His dad ruined his life. 

He sounded like a melodramatic teenager but it was the truth. 

His father’s mistake is going to cost him everything. 

His future, his world, his happiness... His Eda. 

How could he look Eda in the eye, tell her he loved her, be with her, build a life with her here and Italy, and not tell her the truth. 

He couldn’t let their relationship from this point forward be built on lies and half-truths. 

There could be no secrets between him and Eda. 

However, Serkan feared that when he told Eda the truth that was it. It would be over. Eda will walk away from him and his life would go back to being empty. He would be alone again and would be gone from his life. 

“Serkan?”

Serkan's head snapped up and he saw Eda, hovering in the doorway.

God, she was beautiful. She was always beautiful and her beauty never failed to astound him. 

He turned away from her attempting to compose himself. 

“What is it, Eda?”

He could hear her steps across the floor, drawing closer. 

“Serkan, it’s getting late. Almost everyone has left for the day,” Eda stopped a few feet from him. “I thought we could head out, maybe, grab some dinner.”

“I can’t. I will be working late. I have a lot of things I need to do. I’ll call you a cab to take you home.” Serkan stood, keeping his back to her. 

“Serkan, have I done something to upset you?” Eda asked hesitantly. 

Serkan turned and looked at her and cursed himself. She looked lost and confused and the way she was looking at him like she was the one who was in the wrong here, was a punch to his heart.

He couldn’t let her keep thinking that. 

“No,” he shook his head. “You’ve done nothing wrong?” 

“Then why are you punishing me? Why do you avoid me?” Eda asked, stepping closer to him.

It was hard keeping his body in check. Keeping still when all he wanted to do was reach for her and pull her into him, hold her close, and never let go. 

“I’m not. I found out something and I’m trying to process it.” Serkan shifted back from her, leaning against his desk. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Eda asked. “Maybe I can help.” 

“No,” his answer was abrupt. “I can’t talk to you about this cause when I do you will never forgive me,”

Eda's brow furrowed and frowned. “You’re confusing me, Serkan. What are you keeping from me?”

Serkan looked away from her. “You should go.”

“No,” Eda was done beating around the bush. “You’re keeping something from me and it is coming between us. If we’re going to be together, we need to be completely truthful with each other. If something is bothering you I want to help you but I can’t do that if I don’t know what’s wrong. Talk to me.”

“I can’t.” Serkan moved around her. “I can’t, Eda!” 

Eda moved, grabbing his arm. “Serkan!”

“Don’t Eda, please don’t.” he couldn’t have her looking at him with that pleading look of hers. He could never say no to her. 

“Serkan, talk to me, please.” Eda insisted, she reached up, placing her hand on the side of his neck, right over his pulse. “Please.”

Serkan’s heart plummeted into his stomach. He was never able to tell her no. 

This was it. This would be his last moments with her. 

“I don’t know how to tell you this..”

“Just say it,” said Eda, sure that whatever it is it couldn't be as bad as he was making it out to be. 

“My father is the reason your parents were taken from you.” 

“What?” That was the last thing Eda expected him to say. “You’re not making sense.” 

“My father hired a subtractor and the subtractor used weak materials and they did not have everything checked out. The wall collapsed, killing two people. Your parents.” 

Eda’s eyes filled with tears spilling over onto her cheek. She felt like her heart was being ripped from her chest. Her entire being shattering. 

Her breaths came quicker and quicker as her mind flashed with every tender moment she had ever shared with him. 

Was he playing her the whole time as some sick cruel joke for some kind of cover-up? Was everything a lie? 

Serkan watched as she fell apart, the sight of tears ripping him apart from the inside, only made worse that she was struggling to breathe. 

“Breathe, Eda, breathe!” Serkan moved closer to her, his hands hovering around her but touching her. “Breather with me.”

Eda nodded, but a sob tore at her chest. She took a deep breath, forcing herself to calm down, blinking back the onslaught of tears. 

Only once she had her breathing under control did Serkan reach his hand out toward her. 

Eda avoided his touch and looked at him, her cheeks wet with her tears. “Did you know?”

“What?” Serkan asked, pain echoing through his chest at her avoidance of his touch. 

“Have you known all along?!” Eda demanded her voice rising. 

“No, I found out a few days ago. I didn’t know how to tell you.” Serkan confessed. 

Eda turned away burying her face in her hands as another sob rose into her chest. 

It was like her parents' deaths were fresh again, ripping through her every cell, causing nothing but grief and agony. 

“Eda, please..” Serkan pleaded.

Eda turned back around, looking at Serkan through tear-filled eyes. “Please, what, Serkan?”

“You say it all the time, but please don’t mean it. Don’t hate me.” Serkan pleaded. “Don’t hate me for something that was my doing. I love you and if I could change this I would. Please, don’t punish me for something that is not my fault.”

Eda could hear the desperation and the pain in his voice but she couldn’t listen to his words. Not now. “I can’t be here.” 

Serkan watched as Eda turned and left. He felt like she snatched his heart from his chest cavity and took it with her. 

He stumbled back into the wall and sunk to the floor burying his hands in his hair. Breaking. 

* * *

Eda refused to talk to anyone, not even her aunt. She ignored Serkan’s calls. 

She refused to leave her room. It had been days since she learned the truth and everything hurt and she felt Serkan’s absence like a weight on his chest. 

She didn’t know what was worse, the fact that his family ruined hers or that despite the ugly truth it didn’t change how she felt. 

She loved Serkan with a fiber of her being. 

She could still hear him pleading for her not to hate him. 

What he didn’t know was that after everything they’ve been through together she could not ever truly hate him. 

Her phone ranged again. It was Aydan. Eda frowned. Why was Aydan calling her? 

She answered the phone, her curiosity getting the better of her. “Hello,”

“ _Eda, is Serkan with you_ ?” Aydan asked. “ _He hasn’t been home in days. He hasn’t been to the office. No one has seen him._ ” 

Eda didn’t bother to mention she rarely called her by name. That wasn’t important. “No one has seen him? Not one person?”

 _“No, and I can’t reach him on his phone. I’m worried something has happened_.” 

Eda didn’t give her enough time to respond. She just ended the call. 

She dialed Serkan's number but when she only got his voicemail concern took over. 

She called for a taxi. If he wasn’t home and he wasn’t at the office, maybe he was at his other property. 

* * *

Eda walked through Serkan’s house. “Serkan, are you here?” 

She saw his suit jacket laying across the counter. 

“Serkan?”

She turned to look outside to the light curtains and pillows. 

Serkan was sitting amongst the pillows, his head bowed low. 

Eda walked out, heading in his direction. “Serkan.” 

His head snapped up, and he jumped to his feet. “Eda.”

His voice was hoarse, the emotion vibrating through her name.

He looked awful. His hair was wild, his eyes red, his clothes disheveled. “Serkan.”

“Are you here to tell me to get out of your life?” Serkan’s voice shook. “To tell me you hate me and want nothing to do with me? Because there is no need. I already know this.” 

“Oh, Serkan.” Eda’s heart broke for the anguish he was displaying inside of him. “I say I hate you but I don’t. How can I hate someone who loves me so unselfishly?”

Serkan’s breath hitched. “Eda?”

Eda pressed her hand over his heart. “You didn’t have to tell me the truth. You could have covered it up but you didn’t. You were honest with me with the risk of knowing it could ruin the life we were building.”

“But you left.” Serkan protested his hand, reaching up to cover hers over his chest. 

“I needed time to process.” A tear slid from Eda’s eyes. “It’s like I lost them all over again and it hurts so damn much. Sometimes it feels like I can’t breathe. There’s this weight on my chest and I can’t get enough air.” 

“I’m sorry.” Serkan wanted to wipe her tears away but he didn’t want to risk her pulling away from him. 

“Don’t,” Eda said, shaking her head, she stepped closer pressing her forehead against his. Breathing his air. It was the first time in days that she felt she could breathe. “Don’t apologize for something that wasn’t your fault.” Eda pulled back to look him in the eyes, pressing a hand to his cheek. “Serkan, I don’t blame you for what happened to my parents.”

Serkan looked at her with so much love and hope in his eyes that it was impossible not to see it, feel it. 

Eda leaned forward pressing her lips to his lips softly, in the softest of kisses. 

Serkan hands came up to rest on her hip, memorizing the feel of lips against his. 

Eda pulled back, slowly, her thumb smoothing across his jaw. “I’ve fallen completely in love with you, Serkan, and nothing, not even this is going to change that.”

Serkan’s breath left him in a rush. “I love you so much.” 

His arms wrapped around her, crushing her to his chest. “I don’t know how you can possibly be real but I will spend every moment by your side as long as you’ll have me.”

“How does forever sound?” Eda asked, wrapping her arms around his neck. 

“Perfect,” Serkan tightened his arms around her waist and brought his mouth back down to hers.

Serkan promised himself he was never going to let this go. His life wasn’t complete unless Eda was in it. 

Eda knew if they could survive this there was nothing they couldn’t get through together.

This was only going to make them stronger. 

**Author's Note:**

> I doubt this is how the shows going to do it. I hope Serkan tells Eda the truth but I have no idea how Eda is going to react if he does. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
